Dance in blood
by Naraya-Marjana
Summary: Very dark, but there is light leaking through the cracks, secretly, tenderly, breaking your heart, until the cracks explode and new life is born. This summary was inspired by Detective-XO. Warning: the story contains sexual violence, hence the rating, but it all ends happily. Why? Because it should.
1. Chapter 1

They were caught, and strapped to a wall. He had a gun pointed to his head while that son of a bitch raped her. If he had closed his eyes or turned his head, he'd have been dead on the spot and she would have been left alone in the hands of those sick bastards. He wouldn't have looked away regardless. He wanted to see every expression on her face because he was sure she was never going to forget it. And he wanted to remember it, too.

He believed they would escape. And that someone someday was going to pay.

They did escape. No broken bones, no mangled souls. Well, that last part wasn't exactly true.

The night they stopped at a motel she had been standing for hours in the shower until he decided he was going to join her. What was the worst that could happen? For all he knew, she was deciding at that precise moment to just walk out of his life for good. He wouldn't have stopped her if it had come to that, because he had no intention of letting it get that far.

She did not hear him. He had been standing behind her for a while when she turned around and faced him. It seemed strange to him that while she showed no sign of panic she was still surprised. As if she was beyond pain. As if she was so wounded nothing could hurt her anymore.

Still, she wasn't beyond fear. There they stood, a naked man in front of a naked woman. A threat. A foe. If he had not loved her as much as he did, he would have hated her right there and then. And he would have no one but himself to blame.

She spoke slowly, her voice barely audible above the splashes of warm water.

"I can't wash him off."

He drew nearer, careful not to touch her. She raised her head to look him in the eye. "I can't wash him off," she repeated softly.

"Every woman is a sanctuary. Did you know that, Dom? Did you know that every woman is a…" Her voice trailed off because the word that kept forcing itself into her mind was another word entirely. Not a sanctuary. Not someone to be cherished and spoiled rotten with affection, but a creature too despised to be killed and too useful to slip off men's minds.

She repressed the word before it could escape her lips.

As she sighed and bowed her head, her eyes trailed down his well-muscled body. She should have seen it coming, but in her current state of mind, she felt a jolt of surprise go through her – like an echo of another lifetime.

He was aroused. _By what?_ was her first thought. And the second, "You're not serious."

He just shrugged in response. He was dead serious, and she knew it. He had been standing there, biding his time, listening to her, holding back.

"I am unwantable." Her words came out half-strangled.

"_I_ want you."

For a moment, they did nothing but stare at each other. All of a sudden, they snapped. She found herself wrapped in his arms, pushed up against the bathroom wall, he was kissing every inch of her face and was momentarily lost in the relief of not having to lose her… yet.

It might have been giddiness. It might have been despair. Neither knew, or cared. As she felt his hard length pressed against her, she whispered in his ear, "Every woman is a sanctuary. To gain entrance is an honor."

"I have _always_ felt honored." His voice came out lower than he had intended, and he was worried for a second she would freak out.

He needn't have bothered.

"Make me forget him. Make me clean again."

It was permission, if not invitation. She wasn't going to enjoy it. She was sore and probably bleeding more than a little. And she wasn't planning to let him know that.

Her plans were soon thwarted. As he filled her, she tried unsuccessfully to stifle a gasp of pain. From that point on, he dared not move for the fear of hurting her, but also not willing to let her go.

Their bodies united, they stood motionless for hours, him supporting most of her weight, careful not to jostle her.

Every woman is a sanctuary. To gain entrance is an honor. To force entrance is destruction. Nothing can mend it – except love and forgiveness.

Between themselves, in that bleak night, they found both.


	2. Chapter 2

On their way home, she chose to sleep only while he was awake. And he would not leave her alone in the night. Soon, a pattern of safety had established itself.

They traveled by night. He drove and she curled up in the passenger seat. She slept and then woke up and slept again. Terrible dreams haunted her, but she would not talk about them. Her movements were careful, controlled, and he mimicked her, trying not to alienate her further.

During the day, he tried to get some rest while she stayed in the shower of whichever motel room they occupied for the time being. Doors locked, she tried repeatedly to dispel the illusion of hands reaching out to grab her, other body parts invading her, Dom watching what she would rather die than have him witness...

He knew nothing of her fears and demons. All he knew was that she was suffering. She would not let him touch her again. That first night had turned out to be nothing but a small reprieve from the anguish they both had to endure.

His thoughts kept going back in time. He could not stand the more recent memories, so he revisited those from a time when their love had still been new to them, new and intoxicating.

_It was a beautiful day, full of promise. She was teasing him, making him laugh and want her even more. Her passion came as a surprise, an unexpected gift._

What he now remembered most clearly was not their lovemaking, but how sure she had seemed of herself, of him, of their bond. Her absolute confidence had made her indomitable, indestructible. No force could have brought down this angel. She had trusted him completely. Now, she seemed utterly crushed, in constant agony brought on by mere memory.

All he could do was trust that she would surprise him yet again, drawing the strength she needed from the history they shared and his quiet support. It did not seem likely, though.

In sleep, he dreamed of a smile that would not appear on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

When he brought her home, he was going to leave her there and take off to get revenge. He was worn down by her silence and fearfulness, and he wanted very much to punish those who had caused it.

That was when the miracle he had been praying for happened. She broke out of her dejection to demand that he stayed with her, first shouting and then crying into his shirt. He was so stunned it took him a moment to even realize what she was asking. Then her words hit him like a bolt of lightning. She was afraid he would leave her, afraid that she could no longer love him the same way as before.

Once she started talking, she could not stop. Words rushed forth, stumbling over one another, drowning each other out. Still, she kept on talking. In her confession, she spared him nothing. Everything was laid out to be examined, scorned, shunned.

He listened, becoming angrier by the second. In the days that followed, his anger grew and he felt himself prepared to lash out, cause harm. It was only a matter of time. He wanted to go find the people – if you could call them that – responsible for her misery. Yet she would not let him leave her side.

An argument broke out one not so special day that would forever change the course of their lives.

"I will bring you his head, his heart and his balls on a silver platter if you want me to. What _do_ you want, Letty?"

"I don't know! I don't know, all right? I don't know what I want, Dom, but it's not this! Okay? I died that day – there is no need for someone else to die!"

All the fight had gone out of her. He, however, was just warming up.

"If you're dead, how come you're dying before my very eyes? How come I still get to watch you go through hell every single day? You think I don't see what this is doing to you? You're wasting away as I speak, even as I look at you, and I can't, I won't let it go on!"

She looked back at him, at the man she loved and who loved her and who was, at that moment, completely, utterly, devastatingly helpless.

"But I can't do anything about it because you won't let me."

"Dom, it's not about victory or revenge. I _want_ his head, his heart, his worthless ass on a silver platter and in a gross kind of way I am touched you are ready to offer it to me –"

She halted, and he sensed her hesitation. It only spurred him on, rage breaking through.

"But? But what!"

"But it will not make any difference! I am dead and I will not be brought back to life by a corpse of whoever dug my grave! Or by you butchering half a dozen people. You, at least, are better than that."

He didn't quite agree with her about that last part, but he wasn't about to point it out to her. He was _so_ close to hitting something he decided it was a good idea to take a few steps back. Just to make sure she wasn't the nearest thing to hit when he reached his limit. He felt it was coming on really fast.

"So what will bring you back from the dead, Letty?"

She took a deep breath to steady herself. She had been trying to reach out of her mind and take hold of the elusive thought, but it had been evading her. Right up until now.

"I need to walk away from everything. I have to leave it all behind and never look back. The racing, the hijacking, and all the rest of this shit, I want it over and done with. No revenge, no guns, no blood. I am walking away _now_."

"And are you going to leave me behind, too?"

For a moment, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.


	4. Chapter 4

"And are you going to leave me behind, too?"

His voice was saturated by a pain so strong it broke through her concentration on whatever she had been saying, and reached straight for her heart, nearly causing it to break. Yet she stayed firm.

For a moment, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. In a split second, her head cleared and she knew _everything_.

This was not about saving her relationship with Dom or fighting for true love or whichever. It was all about her – about her innermost being, her essence, where all things began and ended – and no amount of love from any man – not even Dom, who was the best and the greatest man she knew – was going to put the pieces of her broken self back together. She alone had the power to do that.

He was still waiting for an answer, standing stone still.

"That is not my choice to make."

His frustration and rage finally spilled over.

"The hell it isn't! You're backing out on me because you're afraid of what happens next! You went along for the ride as long as it was easy, and fun, and comfortable, and now that it got rough, you want to just walk away?"

His accusations hit her hard. No one had been braver or more vulnerable than she had been during the past few weeks as she had struggled with her burden, trying to build for herself a new life, a new prospect of the future – a new identity. Yet while the foundations of her personality had been shaken, the love she felt for Dom had never been in question. He seemed to think otherwise. He was – for just one moment – letting his guard down and all of his carefully concealed anxieties spilled freely over the threshold.

She could respect him for his moment of weakness more than for any show of strength.

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth and if she wanted, she could guilt him into just about anything right now. However, she kept quiet and waited for him to calm down. The conversation was far from over.

"Let me set the record straight. _I_ want you with me. But _I_ am the priority here, not us. I can't be with you if I am going to keep looking over my shoulder for the past to catch up with me, with us. I must go on. I have _changed_ and I am going to change even more before I'm a half decent human being again and I am probably not going to be the same woman you fell in love with –"

It was her face that brought him back to his senses, not her words. It was the expression an angel would wear if she were, by no choice of her own, brought down from the heavens to the filthiest version of hell. For better or for worse, in the dark and in the light, she was still beautiful. She was his queen, his goddess, his saving grace – and he wasn't about to let her forget it.

"Hold it. Stop it right there. I know who I fell in love with. It was you and I see you standing in front of me, change or no change, rape or no rape."

She flinched only at his choice of words, not at the meaning behind them. She used to love it when he staked a claim to her like that. She loved it, still.

"If you want a different life, baby, all you have to do is say so. If I get to be a part of that life, I will follow you. Don't make the mistake of thinking I would turn you down because of some bullshit contest about who's right and who isn't."

She waited. There was obviously more he wanted to say.

"So I was jealous. Jealous of the bastard you won't let me kill because you were thinking about him more than me. And I resented you because you kept acting like it was some private business of yours, like I wasn't even there! Because I was! I saw it happen. I still see it happen. I see you face as you're being torn apart every time I close my eyes."

It took her a second to take in what he was saying. Then it dawned on her that the healing process she had started was not going to be a one-way street.

_She_ had been raped, but the experience was for both of them. She was already on the mend, she had talked and cried and fought. Submerged in her own pain she had not realized he had not said a single word – had not let on how much suffering it had caused him. Her pain had been only for herself. He had put up with hers as well as his hurt. No wonder he was losing it.

"I am sorry. I love you, Dom."

"No. No more regrets. No more sorrow. I love you. Whatever you have done, whatever has happened to you, you are still perfect in my eyes. You hear me? Perfect. The kind of perfect that existed before the dawn of time, the kind of perfect you pray to with all your heart, and the kind of perfect you want to live and die for. You are perfect. No more tears. You are still beautiful even when you cry, but when you are truly happy, you are perfect. I would live for you, if I could not live with you. And I would die with you, if I could not die for you. Do you hear me? You are perfect. That is the only truth in this world, or any other."


	5. Chapter 5

"That is the only truth in this world, or any other."

There it was – the most beautiful declaration of love on earth.

She was silent for a while, thinking about what she could give him, now that he had given her everything he had to give. A long time ago, a friend recovering from a major heartbreak had told her, "One man may bring you down, but there is always another one waiting and wanting to lift you up. All you have to do is let him."

All she had to give was allowing him to raise her up after she had fallen, and letting him know she needed him just as much as he needed her.

"This leaves us no choice, Dom. We are getting out of this mess together, or not at all."

It was the best way she could sum it up, considering that her heart was ready to explode with the most unexpected of emotions – sudden, dizzying hope.

"When have we ever not been together?" came his reply and it was the best he could give her. He was halfway through turning into mush due to the infuriating, ridiculous happiness her words inspired.

He wanted her, regardless of the past, and she wanted him, regardless of the future.

In a world where two people are that committed to one another, anything can happen. Even happily ever after.

That night they slept together for the first time in what seemed like a thousand years. He kissed every part of her he could reach and did not release her for even an instant, and she clung to him, unaware that she was leaving bruises and scratch marks on his skin.

_I love you._

For them, love was not just the only way to survive, but also the best way to stay alive.


End file.
